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HS2 Needs New Platform

Originally published on HS2 Buzz

It’s been a bad few weeks for HS2, Buzz imagines a hastily called meeting as Cameron returns from Russia.

“Ladies and Gentlemen we are here on this solemn occasion to discuss a rescue plan for HS2″, there was a palpable feeling of despair in the room.

The last time things were this bad was when Dave had gone a bit ‘gung ho’ over Syria and had to backpeddle furiously before he fell off.

“We have spent a small fortune of taxpayer’s money on PR for the project and what have we to show for it?” Nobody spoke, there was a nervous cough, did someone murmur “sod all”?

“We need ideas… well at least one… this was to be my finest hour… like the Falklands was for Maggie. ‘Build it and they will come’ you said, ‘the shires will howl for a few weeks and then forget about it’, you said!”

What was the point? They were a useless shower the lot of them, hadn’t they heard about Twitter? That’s what comes of having no experience of real life, at least Labour had that ‘ex-barrow boy’ to advise them.

“Who suggested making a business case?” The suddenness of the question made one or two sit up. “That was nearly as bad as the twat who suggested we should major on the twenty minute time saving… twenty minutes… what the hell was that about?” he slammed a hand down, “some of us spend longer than that in the khazi each morning!”

“While we are at it, what about the accountants? Isn’t it about time they trumped up some numbers saying the project will make money? It’s not as if they have to prove anything, they can just make it up can’t they, who would know?”

All eyes were on the table around which they were seated, here and there fingers were clenched as if in prayer. One fiddled with a pencil, though the paper beneath remained stolidly empty, the sun from the window dividing it into two halves.

“Get your thinking caps on and find a way of selling it to the masses, I know it’s a hard sell, but we’ve wasted too much money on it to U turn,” he waved them towards the door, “get out and send Cleggy in, he always makes me laugh”.

See also Government publishes latest made up HS2 figures – Daily Mash

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6 comments to “HS2 Needs New Platform”
  1. With the world climate report telling us this is a man made problem ,David Camereon always telling us we are world leaders perhaps he might be the leader to scrap hs2 and start preaching to the rest of the worldto try and stop global warming by useing such vast amounts of fuel and energy building his project which is just.a waste of public money and will when built use vast amount of fuel and for what so a few can save a few minutes on there journey time

  2. New boss on £591.000 this govenment will pay and do anything to get there flag ship hs2 built for the rich to use ,It just don’t make sence .theysay we have to cut cut our services we are in this long haul together .They say we have to work longer cut our pensions take from the poor just to save them a few minutes on journey time The sooner the Labour Party says it going to ditch support for this project the better of we all will be

  3. the mindsets may be different if the 3 promoting leaders do not care about this argument line. The line may be just do it as with some first world war generals and recent leaders. Perhaps society says this is not rational but MPs missed being rational with hs2 route 3 phase 1. The UK is in decreasing wealth/capita times. The society knows but the 3 head MPs cannot
    Manage the changes as a result. They have
    Bunkered down in denial with the illusion of hs2 becoming the rising bill at 500M of studying a poor route and 50B scheme. Society says change. It will be interesting to hear the feelings of the 3 in 2015. In the meantime more wasted focus on a ralway vastly overengineered and destructive compared to an affordable extension of the current network with enhancements. 51M approach is more balanced.

    • UKIP MEP for the West Midlands Mike Nattrass ,spoke out strongly against HS2 when he shared the platform with Conservative MP Mr. Bill Cash at the Stafford Convention.
      He also stated the firm intention that should UKIP gain sufficient strength, that they would re-nationalise the railways.

      After the meeting , in conversation, I suggested that he should attempt to convince Mr. Cash of the wisdom of this proposal, and offered a ten pound note as a prize should he succeed.

      Sadly he declined the offer.

      But is this still the party policy, I wonder? It was news to me. Does anybody know?

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